Enjoing a comptemplative life

Enjoing a comptemplative life
Enoying a comtemplative life

Monday, August 11, 2014

What I Learned From A Texas Girl




 Recently, my wonderful daughter-in-law Jen recommended that a young woman come and live with us. This woman would be a Clapp, like Shayna and Rachel and Heather. Shayna came to us recommended by Anny. Rachel was recommended by Margaret. Heather recommended by a good friend at church.  

Shayna, Rachel, and Heather have been a source of joy and growth. My heart doesn’t know the difference between them and the children who have always been mine. There’s a lump in my throat every time they introduce me as their mother.  

Jen’s friend is from Texas. She would live with us, work and go to school. Jen knows me. She said, “Don’t get too excited yet. She might decide not to come.” And I tried to take her advice.   But, my child-like heart kept singing, “Our new daughter is on the way."

It turned out that Jen’s friend was “amazed,” that people she didn’t know would take her in. Just ask Sami Jo, who lived with us last year. Jen’s friend decided not to come.

I don’t know if I would trade sunny Texas for NEPA. I don’t know if I would hop on a plane and dive into a new life. But I cried when Jen said our new daughter wasn’t coming. All my plans blew away like dust.  I looked forward to hearing a life story and contributing something to it. I looked forward to having a Texas daughter to be proud of.

I mourned for a few days. I tried to think of a way to protect my heart. But there is no way. My heart is an accordion file. It opens to accommodate those who need it. I can’t hold it back. I don’t know how else to love.

It’s risky, stepping into someone else's life. But my children, both extras and originals, have always given me more than I’ve given them. My deceased friends, and family, people I’ve lost touch with, have made me rich.  
    
There are people around me who hardly have a place in my accordion-file. I’ve gotten scared and lazy. It’s about time to love them too.  

And, Jen, let your friend know there will always be room for her if she changes her mind. 

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